Dawn

Dawn

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Spain is Different


I arrived home last night to find the TV on and the internet off. By the end of the evening, I'd reversed this situation and was enjoying a download speed of a mere 224 mbps. Which is about as low as it's ever been and compares with a 100 megabytes on offer in the UK. The TV, by the way, had been locked 24/7 on one station and I had to revert to Sky this morning to get anything else. To find that, as far as both Sky and the BBC were concerned, the only important events in the entire world were centred on Manchester United and their departing manager, the sad-but-rich David Moyes,

But, anyway . . . . Here's the first tranche of Spanish Differences, in no particular order of anything. Some of these are trivial and some of them aren't. Whether they are or not depends on which culture you come from and, above all, whether you're Spanish:-
  1. In Spain, it's obligatory to kiss on the first meeting. In the UK, it isn't.
  2. In Spain, it's compulsory to engage in eye contact: In the UK, it isn't.
  3. In Spain, it's illegal not to have the word corazon (heart) in every song. Elsewhere, it isn't.
  4. In Spain, the legal system is inquisitorial. In the UK it's adversarial.
  5. In Spain, you can touch a woman when you talk to her. In the UK, you'd be accused of attempted rape if you did.
  6. In the UK, you pay for your drinks when you order them. In Spain, you pay for them when you leave the bar.
  7. In Spain, rules are ignored if they're personally inconvenient, elsewhere they aren't.
  8. Spain has more prostitutes per (male) capita than any other country in Europe.
  9. You can drive on Spanish motorways without being terrified by trucks and continuously slowed down by roadworks of 'phantom jams'. In the UK, you can't.
  10. Not everyone born in Spain feels Spanish.
  11. Books elsewhere have their titles on the spine all in one direction. In Spain, they can be either to the left or to the right, making a trip to a book shop a pain in the neck.
  12. The Spanish usually have only 1 forename but 2 surnames. Each child has different surnames from each of its parents, who have different surnames from each other. Simple it ain't.
  13. Because of this funny name business, foreigners in Spain suffer from bureaucratic confusion about what they're really called. And what they should put on their forms.
  14. The Spanish daily timetable differs significantly from those elsewhere. The morning stretches to the time of the 'midday' meal, i. e. to 2 or 3pm. Shops open at 10 in the morning and close at 2 for 3 hours. They're then open until 8 or 9pm. Elsewhere, things are more sensible and people get home before 10pm.
  15. The Spanish eat their main meal of the day usually at 2.30 to 3pm. Only a light meal is eaten in the evening, between 9 and 10.
  16. Thanks to the lateness of everything else, the peak TV hour in Spain is between midnight and 1am.
  17. Both adults and children in Spain get fewer hours of sleep than elsewhere.
  18. Notaries are king in Spain. The law obliges their involvement - as agents of the government - in a great deal of what you do during your life, including selling or buying a house.
  19. In contrast, lawyers in Spain are low in status. The pre-university exam mark required for entry onto a degree course is far below that required for aspiring doctors, vets, nurses and physiotherapists. In the Anglosphere, things are rather different.
  20. Shower heads in Spain are nearly always loose, attached to a hose which comes up from the taps.
  21. Burials in Spain must take place within 48 hours and related ceremonies take place in an odd communal place called the tanatorio.
  22. The Spanish still prefer to do business face-to-face, rather than by phone or email.
  23. Spanish responses to invitations are meaningless. A No might really mean a Yes and a Yes means "Provided I don't get a better invitation in the meantime".
  24. Sadly, having either your arm or your leg stroked by a Spanish woman you're talking to means absolutely nothing.


Well, that's enough for today. More tomorrow.

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