More than one newspaper gleefully reported today that the demand for domestic and foreign 'dating' (meaning adulterous) websites is driven by British women. And that peak usage occurred on the day after St. Valentine's Day. Which screams Hell, Fury, and Scorned. Someone from the cunningly entitled Marital Affairs Co. explained that "Britain is unique in its number of women trapped in a sexless marriage." If only I'd known sooner. I could've set up my own page.
Talking of things sexless . . . I mentioned the other day that the Catholic Church in Spain was taking advantage of the sky-high unemployment numbers to advertise a steady job for young males. Here's a video of the TV ad, complete with English translation. It doesn't major on the sexless bit. In fact, it doesn't even mention it. Naturally.
Still on matters religious . . . The Spanish nun who was arrested last week for her involvement in a baby poaching and selling scam, has refused to answer any questions. I'm guessing she thinks God is on her side and she'll come through OK. If so, it certainly will be a miracle. Talking of babies being poached, this raises the question of whether Swift recommended this cooking method in his Modest Proposal. Alfie Mittington probably knows.
Finally on this theme . . . A woman asked to explain why she supported a particular candidate for the position of Archbishop of Canterbury reeled off a number of qualities he possessed. The first - and presumably most important - was that he was 'prayerful'. Does anyone know what this means? Prays a lot? Is the repository of the prayers of others'. Walks round all day muttering to himself? I haven't the faintest idea myself.
An interesting tussle is developing between Madrid and Brussels. The former has 'demanded' 5.5bn euros to help mitigate the effects of the current drought. The latter has said 'We hear what you say but what about all those expensive desalination plants we financed and which are running at only 16% of capacity?" These, I assume, are the 17 plants which are operational. The other 34 aren't and so are at 0% capacity.
Finally . . . Watching the horse racing from Cheltenham last week, I saw there was a Ryanair Chase. This got me wondering how it was organised. Priority Starting for a select few, with everyone else kept back in a tight bunch for 20 seconds? The jockeys having to pay for saddle, stirrups, cinch belt and whip - all at higher prices on the course if not paid for on-line? Race continuity compromised by the jockeys having to pay to take each fence, using an i-Pad as they approach them? . . . Probably not.
Something else surely untrue is that, according to my sister today, Ryanair is now charging 70 quid to check in a case. Would they dare?