Cockles & Mussels; Just muscles; Gib x 2; Bullfighting; and a Spanish insult.

You may have heard the expression 'cockles and mussels' and you may even have sung the chorus line about them from 'Molly Malone'. But have you ever seen them side by side? Well, I hadn't either until the other night, when someone at the next table to us was partaking of them:-

I swear this is one of those coincidences which must come from God . . . Here are 2 pix of muscles from ads down the side of my Facebook page:-

My question is - Can there really be anyone in the world who wants to have arms like this?

HT to Lenox for this amusing article on the benefits Gibraltar would garner from becoming Spanish. I was pleased to see the writer making the point I've stressed several times - and which the Spanish government seems incapable of grasping - viz. that the British government would love to get shut of the place. But needs Spanish help and cooperation on this. So what does the Spanish Minister of Foreign Affairs do? He ratchets up the nonsense that makes it ever more necessary for the British government (and the tabloid media) to defend the locals. By which I don't mean the apes. The Forlorn and Failed Franco Strategy we might call it. As it happens, I was chatting to someone last night who knows said minister (Margallo) from the time she worked in the higher reaches of the Ministry of Health. A very calm lady, she described him as cocky(chulo), coarse(burdo), proud, imprudent and 'violent'. Can't say I was much surprised, having watched his ridiculous big-mouthed performances over the summer. He not only looks like a clown but acts like one. Spanish politics at it most desperate. And mis-guided.

Taking of Spanish customs . . . Bullfighting, in truth, is only of interest to a minority of Spaniards and the number of aficionados has been falling for years. As you'd expect, the majority - though by no means all - of its supporters are right-of-centre. So it was inevitable the PP party would try to reverse the efforts of the previous socialist government to accelerate the trend of falling revenues and subsidies. And, in particular, to try to reverse the bans on bullfighting brought in by the governments of Cataluña and the Canary Islands. This will be done by making the activity ("Not a sport!") an 'asset of Spanish cultural interest'. As someone for the bull-breeders union put it:- “It is an artistic and cultural manifestation of our society and it seems absolutely natural bullfighting should be declared a symbol of cultural heritage.” Parliament will vote on the issue next month but, meanwhile, after an absence of 7 years, bullfighting returns to our early-evening TV next Sunday. Timed so that the kids can watch it and absorb some culture.

Spaniards, it can be fairly said, love to argue, but not always sanely. The story about the odd Gibraltar montage put on his Facebook page by a Spanish mayor naturally made the British newspapers yesterday. I decided to point out that:-

1. The troops are marching out of Gibraltar, not into the place.

2. The planes are about to crash into the Rock.


3. The flag has no pole.

4. The bull was the trade mark of Osborne, originally a British company.

5. It has a tail but no cojones.


Hilarious.


It didn't take long to get a response. Unfortunately, it was in the ad hominem, abusive tone that often passes for argument in Spain:- I do understand why you are unable to see the bull balls, and this is because you have never seen any in your whole life. This could happened for mainly two reasons:
1st.- Because you have no balls and your father didn't neither 
or 2nd, because you have such a enormous belly that it impedes you to see your own kleine[small] balls.

Finally . . . You might like to know that the polite form of saying hijo de puta (son of a whore) is hijo de la gran bretaña. Something to do with Francis Drake and his ilk, I imagine. Either way, it warms the cockles . . . .