Dawn

Dawn

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Driving in Spain; Granada; Blood flow; Parsee joke; Dutch ladies; Cartoons; Fonetic spelling; & An announcement

The August holiday month is looming. So, how are the Spanish police preparing for it? As part of a 'safety' campaign, they're doubling radar traps on both major and minor roads. If they're lucky, this should provide a decent increase in government revenue. But far be it for me to suggest this is the main objective.

Says Giles Tremlett, author of The Ghosts of Spain: "The residents of Granada are not always keen to recognise it, but a century and half must pass before their city can claim to have been Christian for longer than it was a place where, principally, Mohammed was revered."

Also from Tremlett: "When the Moors' occupation of Spain was in its death throes one of the worst battles was in the Gully of Blood. Legend has it the blood of the Christian soldiers flowed uphill in order not to mix with the Moorish, crypto-Islamic blood of the Moriscos." As if. 

And now, just for my young, but bald, friend Jack . . . Here, belatedly, is the promised Parsee joke. The backcloth is that not only are the Parsees reducing in numbers but also the vultures who feed off the corpses left in their famous Towers of Silence. So . . . A Parsee cleric receives a telegram from his friend elsewhere in Pakistan: "Have seen vulture in our area. Please send dead Parsee soonest!" Well, I laughed anyway. If only because it's the sort of black humour I enjoy. Other tastes may differ. But nobody's perfect. 

Anyway, should either of them read this, I just want to thank the 2 Dutch ladies for giving my friend Jon and I the best night we've had for a long time that didn't involve . . . well, you know. Until they went berserk, that is, and got us thrown out of my favourite bar. Which didn't use to have a dance floor made out of 6 tables. I do hope none of their pupils ever sees even the fotos I posted. Never mind the ones on my hard drive. 

For those who haven't already seen them, here are my Private Eye cartoons of the fortnight:








And, finally, speaking of language . . . Wud it reely bee so hard to cheynj Inglish speling so it beecums fonetic, lyk Spanish? Wee wud then bee abel to reed Chaucer. And meybee Shakespeare a bit beter. Or at leest get rid of orl the redundant leters in Inglish, such as in the werds 'dumb', 'numb' and 'comb', which are very confoosing to foreners. Just a thort. 

Or, putting this into Dutch, . . . Wid ot raaly by zo khard tu cheynj Inglish spileeng zo dat eet beecums fonatiq, lyk Speneesh? Vee woood den bee abal tu rid Chaucer. Und mybi Shakespeare un beet biter. Ur at list ghet rad offf orl de ridandunt littirs en Inglish, soooch az en des oerds 'dumb', 'numb' and 'comb', vich arr veri convusing to farinirs. Jooost ein dort. 

BTW . . . This is my last post from Spain; I'm moving to Holland tomorrow. Having mastered the language in a day. And being impressed by Dutch women.

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