Sunday, November 16, 2003

A couple more gerunds:-
- ‘Un peeling’ is a scraping of facial skin, understandably.
- Stretching’ is aerobics

Nuptials nonsense: One of the heavier papers yesterday ran two pages on the brain chemistry of the couple, explaining just what it meant for them to be in love with each other. Apparently his [male] brain operates differently from her [female] brain. Limited by the experience of only 2 sisters, 2 wives and 2 daughters, this came as a great shock to me. Meanwhile, on TV various experts were dragooned in to tell us – on the basis of ‘scientific’ examination of her voice patterns and body language – that she had been quite nervous in their first public outing together. Another huge surprise. And these are the papers which routinely refer to TV programmes as ‘tellyrubbish’. Perhaps, after all, we will get real tabloids here one day.

As a result of the recent global analysis of royal goings-on in the UK, I am now regularly asked whether it is true that Charles not only has someone squeeze paste onto his toothbrush but also employs the same flunky to hold his willy when he urinates. The original version of this last sentence was …’squeezed toothpaste onto his brush’ but something told me that this would only contribute to the media frenzy, given the millions who read and mail on the snippets in this blog page. Thank-God I noticed it.

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