Speaking of the Prado… I lost my gold Cross pen there, just after I had noted the date of the first smile ever portrayed, by a Dutchman as it happens. When I asked at the Information desk whether they had anything like a Lost and Found facility, the young lady could scarcely contain her look of amusement at the stupidity of such a query. I felt suitably chastened.

Anyway, when you go the National Archaeological Museum, up the road from the Prado, you can get two leaflets at the door, each with a floor plan. The one in Spanish says that there are 3 floors – Planta –1, Planta 0 and Planta 1. These are effectively the basement, the ground floor and the first floor. At least to Brits they are. The second leaflet – which describes in English some of the treasures – says there are 4 floors but gives a diagram which has only 3. According to this leaflet, the 4th floor contains the same objects as Floor 1 in the Spanish leaflet. And floors 3 and 2 correspond with floors 0 and -1, respectively. The first floor [a nuclear bunker?] has disappeared into the ether. I trust by now that you are as confused as I was.

More importantly, the museum’s best exhibits were not on display. I would give you Spanish, British and American versions of which floors they are on but life is too short. Go and see for yourself; it is worth the confusion. I wonder whether is it too cynical to conclude that the non-availability of the biggest attractions is related to the fact that the museum is free on Sunday mornings. In other words, this might be another flow-reduction stratagem. Very pragmatic, the Spaniards.