Summer has brought to Pontevedra both more British tourists and more beggars than I can recall from previous years. The most impressively organised of the latter are the gangs of Rumanian women who sidle up with a child in arms, whining that they have several children and no money with which to buy milk for them. Given that the women are invariably well-dressed, amply-fed and carrying babies who are at least plump, it is hard to credit that anyone could believe this rubbish. But some must as it is clearly a profitable business. And well-managed, too. For this year the gang bosses have recruited a far younger and prettier crew than ever before. And, if I and my web site are to blame for some of the Brits, it seems that the Spanish king is responsible for bringing the Rumanians here in droves. During a recent state visit, he positively implored them to come to Spain now that they are fellow members of the EC. Though I doubt that he really meant as mendicants.

Thanks to the Spanish press, I am now aware of what Faria Alam looks like. Although she has been a constant in Sky News headlines for the past few days, we have yet to be shown even her face. Perhaps because of some sort of injunction. For my 3 readers in the USA – and for Brits living in a cave – this is the woman who is said to have slept not just with the Chief Executive of the English Football Association but also with the England Coach. The knives are now out for the latter but not really because of this [latest] dalliance. Given that he negotiated a new contract just before England’s poor showing in the recent European Cup, this is the only way they can get rid of him for his questionable strategy and tactics in Portugal. On the field, I mean. Perfidious Albion.

Talking of the Spanish press, there was a report last week of a tractor killing its 75 year old driver when it suddenly overturned. The accompanying picture was a classic of Spanish journalism. It showed us the tractor on its side but with a caption stressing that the body was hidden underneath it. The subtext was clearly – “Sorry we can’t show you the plastered body but it’s because the tractor’s on top of it. So here’ a picture of the bloody tractor. Use your imagination.” But no such imagination was needed today, in the case of the picture of the latest Palestinian assassinated by the Israelis. Nothing blocked the sight of him lying in a pool of blood on a mortuary tray specially pulled out of a storage unit for the photo shoot.

Following on from the rear-emblazoned GLADLY I mentioned a few days ago, I have today seen WHY NOT? on someone’s back. This has stimulated a resolution on my part. For your benefit, I am going to conduct a survey of odd English phrases on the T-shirts of the young women of Pontevedra. This could well turn out to be one of my better ideas.

Competition time. Big cash prizes. To what question is the answer – “No, I’m just conducting a survey”.