The gas man cameth today, to inspect my set-up and pronounce the previous clean bill of health ‘erroneous’. I’m now charged with punching another hole in my kitchen wall and fitting a new valve in the garage. Though I doubt that anything will happen if I don’t. Actually, the death rate from faulty boilers is so high in Spain I was relieved to be given some way of spending money to secure greater safety. And I don’t say that very often, as my daughters will happily attest.

Spanish TV was advertising a 5 CD history of the late Pope even before he’d had time to settle in his grave. The background music is from Verdi’s La Traviata so I guess it must have escaped the publishers that this is the story of a prostitute who didn’t quite come good. I imagine the Pope is having a good laugh, forgiving the sinner if not the sin.

Quotes of the Day

He’ll look great in white; he’s got the hair for it - Sky News contributor, minutes after the announcement of the election of PapaRatzi

Pope On a Rope: Any soap on a rope has to be a good thing. But if you really want to cleanse away your sins in the shower you need some Papal assistance. Guaranteed to clean even the grubbiest of souls. This truly is a gift from the heavens – Advert in my internet newspaper today