The email scams from Nigeria continue to flood in. The latest I’ve received [from the ‘Nigerian Investigation Department. Motto: Security Watch’] purports to warn me against all the ‘hoodlums’ and ‘touts’ who are trying to get hold of the $35m dollars which is held in my name in the Wema Bank of Nigeria. Naturally, they’d be only too pleased to release this to me provided that…..

The good news about my neighbour, nice-but-noisy Tony, is that he’s gone back to sea for 6 weeks, compared with the normal 4. The bad news is that, when he returns, he’ll have 6 weeks ashore. My daughters and I have decided Tony is at least slightly touched. And one recent guest has declined to stay again in my house because of his bawling and shouting at all times of the day and night. I really will have to find a Spanish solution to this problem.

Talking of guests, I’ve had two Irishmen with me for the past 5 days. Both of these have what the Spanish call el don the palabra, or the gift of the gab. So stories flow endlessly. The odd thing is that these always contain the full name of each and every person involved in whatever event is being recounted, as against ‘A chap I knew in Cork’. Tackling them on this yesterday, they agreed their communities are so small and inter-related, it’s wise to cite names early on so as to give your listener the chance to reveal he or she’s related to someone who’s about to be lampooned. I must check whether similar considerations apply in Spain’s small towns and villages.