The Spanish king was not the only person to speak out of turn last week. A gynaecologist up in Cataluña - trying to treat a tense patient - suggested she return after she’d been introduced to [by?] an aubergine and was more relaxed. He was subsequently convicted of abusing his position of ‘technical dominance’ and of using a phrase that was ‘offensive and degrading’. And fined 200 euros. The lady in question told the press it had got in the way of her having sex with her partner but I was left unsure what exactly she meant by this.

In another strange court case in Cataluña, joint custody was denied to a father on the grounds he had a limp. This, the judge felt, would prevent his caring for his two small kids, even though he was an international paralympic swimmer. The husband, not the judge.

During my trip to Toro and Tordesillas last week, someone somewhere said it was customary in the 16th century to depict the Virgin Mary with a small object in her right hand. A lemon, for example. So the lapsed Catholic in me wonders if somewhere in Spain there is a statue of her holding an aubergine.

Two announcements from Telefonica in the last few days. Firstly, their profits for January to September this year were 51% higher than last year. Secondly, they’re increasing some call set-up costs by 25%. I wonder if there’s a connection. And when we will have reasonably priced broadband anywhere in Spain.

For reasons which may or may not be connected with a relaxation in the law, the number of fatalities among motorcyclists in Spain has shot up by 33% this year. The motorcyclists themselves are up in arms against the crash barriers at the side of the roads, which they say act as guillotines in the event of an accident. But this can hardly be the primary cause for such an increase. Perhaps it’s the illegal racing.

Violence flared again during last weekend’s botellón in Pontevedra, when a young man was gashed with a broken bottle in the old quarter. This left a satisfyingly large blood stain with which the local press could indulge the strange Spanish affection for pictures of gore. Any more of this and I’ll no longer be able to differentiate between the drinking habits of British and Spanish youth.

Finally, here’s a sentence which has surely never been penned in the entire history of the world and will probably never be written again – Between 1^st September and 31^st October, southern Galicia had less rain than anywhere else in Spain.