One of the greatest challenges in learning Spanish is mastering the subjunctive. This is used far more than in English, where it’s all but died off. Things are not helped by the fact there are not one but two forms of the imperfect subjunctive. In theory, these are equally valid but some say one is preferred for speaking and the other for writing. Worse, there’s a future subjunctive as well. But I wouldn’t have the faintest idea when this is used. And I’m not sure many Spaniards do either. At dinner with colleagues on Friday night, an innocent query from me almost led to fisticuffs on the subject of the correct form of the future subjunctive of the verb To Go. Which was rather ironic as nothing else in eight years has got them so excited. But, then, several of them are teachers.

I see that Marks and Spencer are not doing too well these days. Their results will be even worse next year, when I do my annual shop in the UK and give them a miss. This is because they no longer sell the cotton Oxford shirts I favour. In their place are offerings of greater cotton quality but without the button-down collar and the breast pocket essential in jacketless times of the year. Worse, the price has almost doubled, from 25 quid to 40. Which makes a big difference when you buy 6 to 10 at a time.

But, in truth, this pales into insignificance against the bill I’ve just paid for the repair of my car engine. That said, it was not as bad as I’d feared. They’d estimated 2,000 euros but it was only 1,995. And this does include 18 euros for putting the wing mirror on. When I asked what had caused the head gasket to go, they told me it was the fault of the Bosch oil filter which another garage had installed in March, when I had the car serviced by them. But they would say that wouldn’t they?

Anyway, as I’m still in shock, you’ll forgive me if I leave off now to go and put a wet towel on my forehead and give the dog a good kicking.