English - A language you master the grammar of and then slaughter when you speak it
Translation - A task you give to a relative rather than pay a few hundred euros.
Zebra crossing - Pedestrian - Something you only use if there's a certainty that any oncoming driver is not only looking at you but is also within his braking distance.
Neighbours' garage - Something to park in front of, blocking both ingress and egress.
Roundabout/Circle - A mechanism by which the maximum number of both domestic and, especially, foreign drivers can be rendered confused.
Family member - Anyone from whom you think you can beg or borrow money
Friend - Anyone you've met in a bar in the last 24 hours.
Commitment - A promise to do something which you will do unless something better comes along.
Stranger - Someone who doesn't exist and, therefore, to whom you owe no duty of care or consideration whatsoever.
Traffic indicators - Lights for indicating that your car isn't really where it appears to be and so can't be causing an offence.
TV - 1. Something on which you can watch "Radio with pictures"
2. A machine for creating noise in a bar, causing the customers to shout even louder than normal.
Fiesta - A reason for having yet another day off. Or possibly two or even three, depending on how close to a weekend the fiesta falls.
Rules - Behaviour guidelines which apply to other people, in one degree or another. See also 'Laws'.
Pavements/Sidewalks - Strips of land for you to ride your bike on, preferably recklessly so that young kids are endangered.
Noise - Nothing to concern yourself with. Make as much as you like.
Children - Little adults who are allowed to do whatever they like.
Personal space - A concept unknown in Spain.
Parking - The means by which you can scratch all four corners of your car.
Parking bays - A rough indication of where you might park. Can be safely ignored.
Conversation - Talking both loudly and simultaneously.