At the suggestion of a Liverpool-supporting Spanish friend, I recently visited a pub in Birkenhead called The Stork Hotel. Ironically, it was within spitting distance of my grandparent's (ex)pub in nearby Hamilton St. But, anyway, my friend had told me it was an Everton pub. Despite this, though, he and his fellow Reds had been treated very well. As my friend and I were, enjoying a pint of cider and a dish of their home-made cottage pie. This simple dish is, I guess, one of my equivalents of the Galicians' cocido (pig stew) and callos (tripe). Inevitably, I feel I came off when when it comes to 'nursery food'. The Stork, by the way, had some fine Victorian and Edwardian features but nothing to compare with Liverpool's finest, such as The Philharmonic.
I can't hear The Phil's name without remembering one of my favourite jokes . . . The scene is two Scousers standing at the bar there and well into their cups. Do try for the accent:-
I luvs you, Mike.
Yeah? How much d'yeh luv me?
Well, if I 'ad two 'ouses, I'd give yez one.
Yeah. An' if I 'ad two carz, I'd give yez one.
And wha' if yez 'ad two bikes.
Yeh bastard! Yeh know I've got two bikes!!
Driving from Leeds to Merseyside midday today, I came upon a huge jam on the motorway as I was on. For the life of me I couldn't imagine what was causing it. Until I realised we'd soon be passing the Cheshire Oaks retail park. So, there you have it – When there's a bank holiday in Spain, people have a Fiesta. In the UK they go bloody shopping. Says everything really.
Having passed the jam, I started to ponder on what I call Daft Things I Do. So far I have three but I'm sure more will occur to me. These are
- When I take a glass into the sitting room, I remind myself of my record in kicking them over and then put it on the floor, but round the corner of the settee. I then kick it over when I go to the kitchen. Every time.
- When I've made my coffee first thing in the morning, I drink some and then let the rest go cold. I then put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. And then promptly forget about it. I can do this two or three times. And sometimes only take it out the following morning.
- When I'm working with a recalcitrant piece of something – say a plug – I will invariably position it so that when, the screwdriver slips, it goes straight into my palm or finger. I have a genius for this, as I can even do it when I've warned myself about it.
My brother-in-law is new to Facebook. He's clearly been pondering how to increase his Friends total from 5 and asked me today how come many of the Friends I have are beautiful women. I was going to tell him it was simply because I had two daughters but, just in time, I realised he did too. So I told the truth and said I had no idea and that I felt blessed by the Goddess of Pulchritude. And that maybe they weren't all using up-to-date – or even honest – fotos. By the by, the same is true of the Members of this blog. Twice blessed am I.
Finally . . . During my month in the UK, I've put on at least 2 kilos. So what does my mother give me today? A bloody chocolate Easter egg full of chocolates! Es lo que me faltaba.