Mrs Merkel's latest euphemism for austerity' is “budget consolidation”. This snippet emerged from reports of an extraordinary spat between her government and that of President Hollande of France. They clearly don't like each other much, which is not terribly helpful when the EU is facing an existential crisis. The Franco-German EU engine has been well and truly derailed. Or the French bit at least.

At times like this it's easy to forget that Germany and France were the first EU members to breach the rule that deficits should not exceed 3% of GDP. And they did it, contrary to the rules, with impunity. Is it really a surprise that others piled in behind them, throwing fiscal rectitude to the wind?

Germany's attitude to said fiscal rectitude and its primordial fear of inflation go back a long way, of course. To the hyper-inflation of the 1920s. So, as with Hitler, the current problems of the EU – specifically Germany's refusal to stimulate its own economy to help those of other members – can be laid at the door of the 1918 Versailles Treaty. In particular the provisions insisted on by the French. Ironically.

It being the 1^st of May, there were Lack-of-Labour marches in several Spanish cities. No reports of violence yet. Which is a bit of a surprise.

Mariano Rajoy, the President of Spain, is the silent man of politics, both here in Spain and on the European scene. True to form, he's ignored the allegations made against him - and others in the party – that he received salary top-ups from an illegally established slush fund. As IberoSphere has put it:-The Bárcenas corruption scandal is the biggest of its kind in recent Spanish history. Its substantial allegations taint the governing Partido Popular (PP), several of its senior figures and Rajoy. But, to the dismayed resignation of many Spaniards, Bárcenas is looking ominously like just another graft case, dragging on in the background while those it sullies refuse to resign and carry on in their posts, albeit with eroded credibility. More here.

Talking of corruption, FIFA has finally confirmed that the Honorary President, Sr Havelange, was on the take. At 96, he's had the decency to resign. That great survivor, Sepp Blatter, has had his management of the bribes enquiry described as 'clumsy', meaning that not much mud has stuck to him. Which may surprise many.

And talking of football . . . Bayern Munich put another 3 goals past Barcelona tonight at the Neu Camp, making the aggregate score an astonishing 7-0. With Real Madrid failing to go through last night, the Champions' League final will be an all German affair. Just like the control of the EU economies.

I was talking to my friend Ángel about traffic rules today and he confirmed that flashing amber lights at a crossing means that pedestrians have the right of way. This rule appears to be almost universally unknown or ignored in Spain. As it was yesterday, when a fast-moving truck not only failed to stop but also blew its horn at a woman crossing. I doubt it was an apology. Anyway, we naturally got onto the subject of fines for motoring offences and Ángel advised he hadn't taken his car out of the garage for three years as this was the only way to avoid being fined. I had little difficulty agreeing with him.

Here, from The Local, is a guide on how to hide your guiri-ness from the Spanish. Good luck. By the way, it says there are 10 but there's only 9.

Facebook is really starting to irritate me now. Apart from a further 8 or 9 re-appearances today of the ad I mentioned yesterday, they've now suggested bloody Tracey Emin as a friend! I'm more likely to douse myself with petrol and apply a match.

Finally . . . For anyone who's feeling a bit down, here's a lift for you. Unless you're American.