I've said more that once over the years that,
through overuse, the word 'fascist' has lost all its pejorative
weight here in Spain, and now merely means "I disagree with
you". I discovered last night that Orwell got there well before
me, writing in 1946 that:- The word 'Fascism' has now no meaning
except in so far as it signifies 'something not desirable'.
In the same article - on the degeneration of
English - Orwell gave the following rules for Anglo writers.
Personally, I would add a 7th - Never enumerate your points with
Roman numerals. And an 8th - Never put brackets around your numbers.
Anyone got any more?
(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure
of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will
do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always
cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the
active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word,
or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
And, finally, his wonderful 6th rule: (vi) Break
any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
Of course, one man's 'barbarous' isn't
necessarily that of the next man . . . For example, someone I don't
know of, Kristen Stewart, has been lambasted for this piece of poetry
- the sort of stuff to which the word 'execrable' is usually
attached for the benefit of the majority. Though there will be some -
apart from Miss Stewart - who will like it. Or say they do:-
My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole
I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon
across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills...
I'll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive
organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something
Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.
And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He's speaking in tongues all along the
pan
handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in My eyes
I know about this because a columnist has produced
examples of famous names turning out stuff she thinks is easily as bad
as poor Kristen's attempt. Here's one, from Wordsworth:-
And to the left, three yards beyond,
You see a little muddy pond
Of water--never dry
I measured it from side to side: '
Twas four feet long, and three feet wide.
I measured it from side to side: '
Twas four feet long, and three feet wide.
Talking of art . . .You'll have heard of the guy
who picked up and then dropped an antique jar decorated/desecrated by the Chinese artist
Ai Wei Wei. This has raised the question of whether this was a million dollar act of vandalism or an example of uproariously funny
Performance Art. Especially as the guy dropped said jar against the
background of a large foto of Ai doing exactly that. I don't know the
answer to this very modern quandary but it beats trying to quantify
angels on a pinhead.
The Environment
January: 31 days. On which it rained: 28 - 93%
February: 22 days. On which it has rained: 22 - 100%.
So,
50 out of 53 - 94%.
WiFi note: On my way to bed last night, I
tripped over the modem cable and brought it crashing to the ground.
This morning, I discovered that the WiFi wasn't working. So switched
it on and off, to find that I now had a speed of 1.4megas. The
highest I've ever had and more than 4 times that of one night this
week. So, there's one solution to my problem; throw the modem onto the
floor. Maybe.
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