Trouble and strife.

Today was a good day to practise my Spanish . . . .

Chapter 1: My first challenge was to find out what a message from Honda Spain really meant. It seemed to be a final (positive) reply to my demand that Honda bring back my car from Vigo - where they'd taken it a week ago to deal with a faulty sensor - but it talked of my car being taken to not brought back from Vigo. In fact, it was identical to a message I'd received on Monday. Anyway, I sent a reply but decided not to wait for clarification and, instead, called Honda Asistencia. After I'd provided them all the details I had on Monday, they finally advised me Honda wouldn't be bringing the car back on a truck but sending me to Vigo in a taxi.

Chapter 2: After the taxi had dropped me off at the Honda dealer in Vigo, I walked through the showroom to the service area at the rear, where the conversation went something like this?

I've come to pick up my car.

[Using the special agonised face and tone reserved for foreigners] What?!

I've come to pick up my car.

What car? We haven't got one for collection.

A car that was brought here last Monday from Pontevedra.

For a service?

No, for a sensor fault to be repaired.

I don't know anything about it. I'll ask my colleague.

[Interrupts salesman trying to sell a car] Did you call anyone about a car to be picked up?

No, I don't know anything about it.

[Turning to me] We'll have a look outside.

[Out in the yard] Is this it?

Yes. [Luckily having thought to bring the spare key] I'll check whether the fault has been fixed. . . . Yes, it has. Can I take it now?

I'll have to find if anyone knows where the key and the papers are.

Is there a café near here?

There's a machine there.

No, I mean a café.

Yes, there's one 200 metres up the road.

OK. I'll see you in 20m.

Chapter 3: When I get back the guy has changed his attitude from almost-surly to almost-servile. He opens the door for me and conducts me to the desk, where I sign the papers and pick up the key. I then spend 10 minutes trying to get out of the compound because, out in the narrow lane, a bus and a car are engaged in a stand-off which is preventing either of them from continuing their journey. Eventually - and inevitably - the car driver caves in and I head off home. In the wrong direction.

Years ago, when talking to a Spanish friend about customer service, I said I would favour using international companies which had a reputation for high quality service. "Good luck" he said. "I fear you'll find that, international they may be, but they're all run by Spanish managers". On days like this, I think I know exactly what he meant.

And, yes, it did rain on the first day of March. Non stop, so far. Leading to the postponement or even cancellation of various Carnaval (Mardi Gras) parades scheduled for tonight. So mine is not, by far, the worst of days.

Though I do have a wifi download speed of just 47kbps. Or 0.05megas. A new low. Which compares with 20megas in one bar in the centre of town.