Dawn

Dawn

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Hospital biz; Giving blood; Nuns in Spain; A Beautiful gaffe; & Galician nationalism.

HOSPITAL BUSINESS: I went for a couple of routine annual checks yesterday. Needless to say, I had to go through the ID-proving, insurance-card-producing, chit-signing & photocopying procedure twice. My first appointment was at 10.30 but even private hospitals here seem to operate on the basis of giving several patients the same time slot. There were 5 people when I arrived and about 10 when I left. Perhaps they were already way behind. I didn't get to see the doctor until 11.15 but, in compensation, I heard these useful phrases for the first time:-
  • Take a deep breath: Coge un aire fuerte. Lit. Take a strong breath.
  • Breathe normally: Respira normalmente.
  • Breathe out: Echa lo. Lit, 'Throw it out'. It's a versatile verb, echar. Used with taking a siesta as well. Inter alia.
Narurally, I left my umbrella in the waiting room and had to go back for it. This was unfortunate. For, when I'd arrived, I'd been asked if I'd drunk a lot of water in advance. I'd said not, thinking: “WTF didn't someone mention this to me before”. So, I'd been compelled to drink a litre of very cold water as fast as possible, which gave me nausea. Worse, as the doctor pressed on my bladder I felt a very strong urge to pee and, once I was dressed, I had an urgent need for a toilet. The last thing I needed was to have to first retrace my steps. Why didn't I go to the toilet first?, I hear you ask. Well, because it was on another floor and I'd already discovered the lifts took an eternity. I'd used the PROHIBIDOS stairs to get down to the Imaging section but didn't fancy emerging via the door right next to the nurses' station. But the worst news of the morning was that the pretty nurse in the Lab wasn't the one to greet me with her smile and chat; it was some bloody new guy. I didn't even get to see my friend, Miguel – the super-hyper efficient blood sucker. So it was a good thing I was only dropping off a sample and didn't need to donate blood. Which reminds me . . .

DONATING BLOOD  For those who know nothing of the British comedian, Tony Hancock, here he is in his classic sketch on this theme. He was heavily drinking by the time he did this and averse to learning his lines. If you look, you can see him reading from cards beside the camera. In fact, in one scene you can briefly see the edge of the card. Nonetheless, it's one of his best. He later committed suicide, of course. Well, he could hardly have done it earlier, could he? . . .

LITTLE PEOPLE: When I came out of the hospital, it was to find myself behind 3 nuns, 2 of them supporting the one in the middle. The 2 outriders were tiny and the nun in the middle was minuscule, even taking into account the fact she was bent over. I tried to snap them all in the street but had to make do with just 2 of them at the clinic desk.



This was confirmation, as if I needed it, of my long-standing theory that any young woman below a certain height – say 150cm – is compelled by law to become a nun. It's about time, it seems to me, that this was repealed. Unless there's only room in Heaven for very short people. Like La Menina/The Dwarf.

SIC TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI . . . Here's a cartoon for those who heard how poor Miss Colombia – a real beauty – had the Miss World crown snatched from her head after just 2 minutes of glory. Albeit for an even prettier Miss Philippines. Hope the former didn't have nits . 
. .
There's been a mistake. We gave some gold, frankincense and myrrh to Miss Colombia.

FINALLY . . . For the first time in ages, the number of 'Followers'to this blog moved yesterday; it went down by 3. My guess is these are Galicians rendered incandescent by a comment of mine elsewhere that it isn't worthwhile for me, as a foreigner, to learn Gallego on top of Spanish. Apparently some nationalists really believe that I should. Astonishing. But they do like to be angry with everyone else. Nature of the beast.

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