In the summer months, most shops and offices in Spain work shorter hours. In some cases, this means not opening at all on a Saturday. This can make a trip into town a very frustrating experience, as happened today, when I found both the library and my bank closed and shuttered. Happily, I’m learning to shrug and accept this. Honest.

Yet another request for directions in town today. I’ve now concluded this buttonholing of an obvious foreigner is another example of Spanish spontaneity. Or ‘thoughtlessness’ in the sense of speaking/acting before engaging the brain. It’s quite charming really, especially as my interrogators are always effusive with their thanks when they realise what they’ve done. Of course, at this point they don’t know I’ve sent them the wrong way.

I discovered today that the spelling of programme in British English only took on this form in the 19th century. Hitherto, it had been program and, indeed, both forms are acceptable in British English, whereas American English only has program. Up to now, I’ve resisted what I thought was an Americanism but the fact I now know the usurper came, pointlessly, from French has cast a rather different light on things. Henceforth, program it shall be.

Another thing I read is that the armoured Mercedes of President Mugabe of Zimbabwe weighs 5 tons and does about 2 kilometres per litre of fuel. As he moves around the country waving to his grateful but starving masses, the car is followed by its own petrol tanker. No wonder he needs Zimbabwe’s foreign debts forgiven!

Everyone in Spain has 2 surnames, one from their father and one from their mother. This can complicate matters. And not just for foreigners. Looking for a CD in a department store this week, I finally worked out they weren’t displayed under the surname of the singer but under the forename. I guess this makes sense where there are two surnames to chose from but, of course, consistency would be too much to hope for. Back to Amazon.

By what thought process do middle-aged men arrive at the conclusion they look good in multi-pocketed trousers that stop mid-calf? Or anyone, for that matter.