The EU has removed the restriction on the export to Europe of British beef. So the French will have removed their [illegal] ban on its importation, won’t they? As if.

I need to expand a comment I made the other day about independence and money. Here in Spain, the two regions which are the most independence-driven are also the richest. One is Catalunia and the other one - for reasons clear to some of you - I’m not going to name. Galicia, on the other hand, is poor and the ‘nationalist’ movement here is weak. They couldn’t afford to go it alone and they know it. The others could and would be better off, if they did, as they would no longer subsidise the rest of Spain. There’s a parallel here between Scotland and Galicia. Although Scotland is a country and Galicia ‘only’ an Autonomous Region, the latter [I believe] actually has more devolved power than the former. But the Scots, being as canny as they are reputed to be, have never sought full independence and have settled – though only quite recently - for ‘devolution’. The reason for this is twofold - and very simple. 1. The Scots are subsidised enormously by the English, and 2. For hundreds of years, able Scots have fled south to occupy a disproportionate number of top positions in every walk of British life. In fact, you only have to look at the cabinet of Tony Blair [a Scot with an English accent] to realise how powerful the Scottish mafia really is. So, why bother with independence when you can take someone else’s money for the relatives back home and run the whole of the UK at the same time? Catalunia and X often quote Scotland as an example of what they want to be. One is forced to ask just how much they understand about things outside their own onion patch. And the question arising is – would the ‘nationalist’ movements of Catalunia and X really be so strong if either they were poor or if they had in the past had the sense to follow the Scottish model that they now claim to want to follow? Of course, with full independence would come your own national football team but not many of us think this alone is worth killing for. Though I can’t vouch for my NZ friend.

Ana Obregon is a 40-something reconstructed blonde who is a staple of Spanish TV sit-coms. She tells us today she’ll soon be starring in a new show which will be ‘different, daring, original and unique in Spain’. It will centre on the lives of 6 or 7 women and – apart from at least 12 prominent breasts – will surely have a large quotient of flying pigs.

You’ll all be dying to know that 75% of Galician women between the ages of 36 and 45 wear a tanga when they’re feeling daring. And more than 80% revert to normal panties when they’re feeling a bit down. This is more or less in line with my experience.