Sunday, May 03, 2015

Those funny Spanish 3; A funny tree; & An unfunny coincidence.

Those funny Spanish 3:-
  • They can't say the letter H in English words, usually pronouncing it as a horriblly Teutonic KH.
  • In case you haven't guessed, they are very sociable. But:
  • They never entertain at home.
  • They do all their socialising in cafés, bars and restaurants.
  • They move from bar to bar, never staying in one place all night.
  • They would never say "Mi casa es tu casa", unless you are very, very close.
  • They are great café goers
  • They invented the wonderful tradition of tapas.
  • They also invented the brilliant dish of tortilla. Egg and chips in a better guise.
  • They drink G&Ts, for example, with 5 times the British measure in it.
  • They are happy drunks, not fighting or maudlin drunks.
  • They are not binge drinkers.
  • Their peak TV hour is 11.30pm and their popular shows can end an hour later.
  • Their favourite TV programs comprise a group of 6 or 8 regulars shouting at each other, in unison, about some aspect of some celebrity's life. With a passive audience sitting behind them.
  • They invented the cult of celebrity, perhaps. 'Hello' was born in Spain.
  • They like to gossip, especially about bullfighters and their women. The most popular star of the gossip shows at the moment is an utterly vapid woman, famous only for being the ex-partner of a retired bullfighter. She even won 'Dancing with the Stars' despite having 2 left feet.
  • They have an inordinate interest in Britain, especially the royal family.
  • They prefer to learn English with a British, rather than an American, accent.
  • They are not as neighbourly as the Americans, or even the British are. But:
  • They firmly believe British neighbours never talk to each other.
  • They laugh at the British dual-tap system, inter alia.
  • They have lots of 'friends' whom in other societies would only be regarded as acquaintances.
  • They can make 50 'friends' a night in a bar.
  • They have very few of what Anglo societies would regard as close friends, preferring family members.
  • They have a reducing average family size.
  • They have more brothels per capita than any other country in Europe.
  • They make ferocious eye-to-eye contact.
  • They are disconcertingly tactile.
  • They do a lot of kissing and hugging.
  • They will talk to you on trains, planes and buses, even if they are young and you are 'old'.
  • They won't look askance - rather the opposite - if you smile at or talk to their kids.
  • The react very well to a smile and a greeting.
  • They leave their phones on, according to the radio yesterday, during both striptease shows and funerals.
  • They have a great sense of humour, if a tad adolescent at times.
  • They can be very provincial, reflecting the lack of mobility in society.

There were no trees damaged or killed in the making of this piece of installation art. I sincerely hope.


Seeking to find out whether or not I could buy a new iPod in Pontevedra, I was directed by Apple to the middle of one of the local gypsy encampments. Again and again. It eventually tuned out to be 20km along the coast. Possibly. 

Finally . . . The infamous Kristallnacht took place on 9-10 November 1938. Astonishingly, that same day saw the publication in the UK of a fulsome article in Homes and Gardens on Hitler's 'mountain retreat' as Berchetsgaden. More on this here and here

2 comments:

Perry said...

Colin,

Dual tap may not what you think it is. The phrase could be interpreted as

Double tap - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There is another phrase; "confirming the kill" that uses a second shot usually administered by the officer I/C of a firing squad. Twin taps or a pair of taps might sound less .......... final.

paideleo said...

Tamén usan o teutónico KH en " G " final de palabra. Por exemplo: dog, pig.

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